An English Christmas
by TheUn-AwesomeMe
Summary: One Christmas day, England finally decides that the Doctor has gone too far. So he makes a phone call.  No pairings that can be seen .


**A/N: **Well, this is my first fanfiction posted online, so I apologise if it's atrocious or something like that... However, I certainly do _not _apologise for making it a crossover of two of the most Awesome things in this Universe. It's already been done by people anyway, so I'm not the first.

I always did think that Arthur and the Doctor would be good friends, despite how annoyed Arthur would get what with having his Christmas 'ruined', without even talking about every other day. I also greatly support the idea that Jack Harkness would hit on him constantly. Which I must add, by the way, I first saw from this piece of brilliance- A link won't work so to find it search on Deviantart 'APH-DW-DW-HP crossovers' . The person who did that is a genius.

Uh, anyway, I was going to post this on Christmas Day, but I won't be able to so Christmas Eve will have to do. I would appreciate it that if you actually read this if you told me what you liked or didn't like, or how I can improve-otherwise if I ever post more stories they'll be just as bad. I really don't want that. So enjoy, and tell me what you think!

(Also, if it seems like Arthur's rambling, he is. He's very stressed you know. It has nothing to do with me liking commas and long sentences far too much.)

* * *

><p>It was Christmas Day, and Arthur Kirkland was leaning back in his chair by the fire drinking his tea as per usual. Unless it was July 4th. But, he mused, it's best not to think of such thoughts that might spoil the evening. Not that he wasn't expecting something to spoil it, and no, it wasn't that blasted American using Amazon to give presents again, which was a disaster in itself. Even he learned to keep away after awhile.<p>

No, it was the Doctor, that bloody annoying Doctor! Every Christmas, every _single_ Christmas, without fail, he would bring a new kind of trouble to his beloved land, whether it was alien invasions, (he knew Tony was going to be the death of him), masked Santas - Really? _Really? With musical instruments as weapons of all things-_ Or that time a spaceship nearly crashing into Her Majesty's palace (he had a heart attack when he heard that one), or when those bloody children-snatching robot men had come back again!

He even tried to visit him for Christmas once in a while – The nerve! After all he's done! He even brought more people! But it was annoying having to avoid that Harkness git. (He was starting to worry that it was getting to a France level.) Last time he tried to visit he threw a teacup at the wanker's head, forgetting that he was supposed to be a gentleman for the time.

But anyway, as he said, its better not to think of displeasing thoughts on what was supposed to be a relaxing day. But it was rather unnerving…normally he would have had some sort of interruption by now… Oh well, maybe he would actually be-

A phone rang out, breaking thought the once silent atmosphere.

-_Quiet._

Slowly and cautiously England got up, already feeling the impending headache that was surely going to come. After staring at the shrilling phone for some time, as if willing it to go away, he gingerly picked it up and braced himself.

"Yes?"

"Is this Sir Kirkland?"

"I am."

"Ah…Well... You see…" The man seemed very hesitant in speaking. He had probably heard of his usual reactions to unwanted news.

"What is it?"

"I'm-so-sorry-but-one-of-our-ships-is-about-to-crash-into-a-certain-planet-and-the-person-in-charge-won't-help. The Doctor's there too."

"…_click." _England hung up, his face darkened in a way that would rival Russia.

He was not going to get angry, now take deep, calming breaths. He was not going to get angry, he wasn't going to get angry-he was not going to get bloody angry and take his anger out on his tea set, he was not going to make proper use of his fire burn his house or parliament down. He was not going to get drunk, and he was not going to act like he-oh hell, he knew he was going to get angry, but if he was going to get angry, he may as well be a gentleman about it.

He was going to make a phone call.

~Doctor Hetalia Who~

_Riiinng._

_Rriiinngg._

The Doctor looked up, his face holding an expression of delight.

"Oh! A phone call, I love those!"

"Who is it?" Amy asked. In answer the Doctor picked up the receiver and held it to his ear. Unfortunately it was on a speaker, so his ears probably got hurt. And everyone else could hear what was being said.

"YOU BLOODY GIT YOU, YOU'VE DONE IT AGAIN, RUINING MY CHRISTMAS AGAIN! DID I MENTION THAT THIS ISN'T THE FIRST TIME? YOU-"

"Hate to be rude, but what did I do?"

"MY BLOODY CRUISE SHIP, THAT'S WHAT! I TOLD YOU-"

"Ah, but we just fixed that little problem didn't we?"

At this Amy butted in and asked, "Doctor, who is this?" Unfortunately, just as she said this the caller began speaking again, drowning out her voice.

"I DON'T CARE, IF SOMETHING BAD HAPPENS, IT'S YOUR FAULT, OR YOU'RE JUST…THERE! YOU DON'T EVEN LET ME HAVE PEACE ON CHRISTMAS! CHRISTMAS! EVERY YEAR, WITHOUT FAIL! DO YOU HAVE SOME KIND OR BUILT IN CLOCK OR SOMETHING, AND YOU SAY TO WHATEVER BLASTED COMPANIAN YOU HAVE WITH YOU 'OH LOOK, IT'S TIME TO MESS WITH ENGLAND'S HEAD AGAIN, OR SHALL WE GIVE HIM ANOTHER HEART ATTACK?'I WON'T HAVE IT, YOU HEAR? OH, AND TELL THAT HARKNESS GIT TO STOP LOOKING AT ME! IT SOUNDS STRANGE BUT TRUST ME! NOW GOODBYE!

"Merry Christmas!"

"MERRY BLOODY CHRISTMAS TO YOU TOO!"

_Click._

"…."

"Looks like someone doesn't want a visit for Christmas. I'd brought an extra fez and everything."


End file.
